Back to Harbin

March 2002

Charles sits at the head of the long wooden table, grinning nervously, Gina sitting to his left, his wife Susan to his right, like the ugly faithful monsters - half dog, half dragon - that sit either side of temple gates to ward off evil spirits. They have their work cut out; there are plenty malevolent spirits in this room, myself included. Charles, tongue-tied as ever, coughs and tries to summon up the courage to tackle a difficult subject directly.

'Just because Karen has, well, left,' he begins, 'does not mean you should be feeling, umm, insecure.'

Karen, our Director of Studies, had done a runner and was never coming back. Weirdly, we should have known. She'd mysteriously turned up the day before Chinese New Year's eve in a Beijing park we were visiting, saying a peremptory hello, before slinking off with Danuka, who had become a close friend, for a pow-wow. At the time, I was too busy both flirting with Marina and psyching myself up to eat a stick of barbequed scorpions, to think much about it. Later, Danuka, obviously sworn to secrecy, refused to tell us what was going on, and her fearsome temper procluded further investigations.

Whatever, obviously the pressure of trying to keep us demanding teachers happy whilst dealing with the cloak-and-dagger politics of the college had got to Karen in the end. Often in team meetings she would raise her hands in exasperation and say, 'Look, don't blame me, I know it's a stupid idea but...' And we never did blame her.

'From now on,' Charles continues, 'your new Director of Studies will be Susan, my wife. If you have any academic questions, go to her. She will also be in charge of your schedules and of maintaining academic quality. Give her your full co-operation.'

The definition of 'nepotism' is:-

'Using your power or influence to obtain good jobs or unfair advantages for members of your own family'.

Susan then made a speech about how hard she was going to work and how hard she wanted us to work in return. She was looking forward to a harmonious future relationship with her foreign teachers. All said through lips as thin as a hair's breadth, and with a hard look in her cold eyes.

'On the logistics side, if you need anything, you can ask Gina. She will now be my assistant, and Head of the Foreign Department.'

The definition of 'cronyism' is:-

'A partiality to long-standing friends, especially by appointing them to positions of authority, regardless of their qualifications. Hence, cronyism is contrary in practice and principle to meritocracy. Cronyism exists when the appointer and the beneficiary are in social contact; often, the appointer is inadequate to hold his or her own job or position of authority, and for this reason the appointer appoints individuals who will not try to weaken him or her, or express views contrary to those of the appointer.'

Gina beamed victoriously, like a queen rightfully restored to her throne.

A most unholy triumvirate, made worse by the lack, the emptiness, of the 5th Floor lounge and teacher's office. Not only Karen has gone, but J, Albert and Paul too. The teachers are now being so slave-driven by Susan we have no time to relax in the lounge. Susan has moved out all the Chinese teachers whose first subject is not English from the office, and sometimes it's just Ronald, Ken, Patrick and I rattling about that big room with a few older Chinese who, strangely, can't speak any English. Every day a few of the old women put a foot up on the radiator to stretch their hamstrings out, or skip wildly in the middle of the floor, making the whole office vibrate.

As all this political wrangling goes on behind the scenes, I just concentrate on my teaching. Amazingly, I begin to find myself quite good at it. I see marked progress in my students' English - and attidude - despite the fact that they're now being bombarded with test after test, and forced to study an Upper Intermediate book which is way too hard for them. I've told my new DoS about this but, as Susan was the one who chose the textbook, there's no chance it'll be changed.

I'm giving up two of my evenings every week to help the students who need it catch up on their work. This college may be no meritocracy, but I'm damn sure my classroom will be.